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Joke of the Day

"I had a near death experience and I saw heaven. There were people screaming and there was fire everywhere."

"So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend."

"I've been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building. Hope it's not terminal."

"What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken? One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg."

"Wanna hear a joke? 6to5"

"[doctor gets job as 911 operator] ""What's your emergency?"" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE ""Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"""

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"I believe I can flyyy. I believe I can touch the skyyy. I believe I was mistaaaken. I believe I'm faaalling. I believe I'm gonna diiiie."

"What does a hawk call a high ledge A *falcony!*"

"America, Britain isn't the ex who pretends it was mutual We're the ex who say 'Phew, missed a bullet there'"