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Joke of the Day

"My son- Can I have ice cream? Me- No, it's breakfast Him-The dog just pooped in the living room Me-Clean it up & you can have some ice cream"

"The New Drum by Major Headache"

"How does a turtle grate cheese? Shredder"

"Why are TV's attracted to people? Because we turn them on. /*Badumtss*/"

"What song does a car radio play? A cartoon (car tune)."

"What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?(dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!"

"The good news is I'm pretty much who I say I am. The bad news is I'm pretty much who I say I am."

"Not to brag, but I parallel parked without hitting anything, taking 15 mins, or winding up on the sidewalk. No cars were around, but still."

"Why do prison guards use Proactive? To prevent further breakouts."

"3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid."