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Joke of the Day

"If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,... what color would your Lamborghini be?"

"What does a sassy ghost say? Boo you whore"

"What does a successful rapping cow struggle with? Moo money moo problems"

"I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook... They wanted books but instead they got magazines"

"A man using apple maps walks into a bar.. ..or maybe it was a church or a grocery store or something"

"Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache."

"Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever? ""Follow Your Dreams."" -Freddy Kreuger, 2016"

"A snowman tells another snowman. Snowman 1: Guess what? Snowman 2: What? Snowman 1: You smell like carrots ps. not sure if this joke has been posted before"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian says ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl. And all I could think was ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" And then she did."