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Joke of the Day

"Why does the mushroom always get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic satanist? He sold his soul to Santa"

"You know that woman in the infomercial that didn't know how to use a regular blanket cuz it wasn't a Snuggie? No way she's still alive."

"Might buy a junkyard just to grow my own junk food."

"Jesus was obviously white. He even tastes like crackers!"

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bar tender asks him if he wants a drink, he says ""I think not."" He then disappears."

"The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood."

"My brother's pretty good at Russian Roulette... He's only lost once."

"How is sex like putting on a belt? If it's not tight enough, move on to the next hole."

"Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words."