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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when you turn up to a Klan rally and some other guy is wearing the same dress."

"An M&M for 50 cent!? That's Ludacris!"

"I just waited on hold 47 minutes for a tech that sounds like he learned English from a Furby."

"Why was the hobo sad? Because he was in a great depression."

"Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb? Because, they're so darn stupid!"

"DM: This person is writing offensive posts about you. ME: Oh cool, you follow my wife! Tell her I said hi!"

"We can't deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one."

"I wish ""it's the thought that counts"" worked for housework."

"""Daddy, are we poor?"" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. ""Compared to my friends?"" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt."

"And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter."