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Joke of the Day

"""Turtle Power"" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently."

"How do you find and old man in the dark? Just feel around. It's not hard."

"Why do Egyptian farts smell the same? They have toots in common."

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register"

"The question is not ""Why is Instagram not working?"", but ""Why does the world need another picture of you?"" #instagramnotworking"

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"A 4 year old boy examined his testicles... while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet', she replied"

"Did you know humans are born with four kidneys? Two of them grow into adult knees."

"What do ISIS/ISIL members use to clean their dirty vaginas? ...me!"

"So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs."