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Joke of the Day

"How sure are we that one of Nicki Minaj's parents isn't just a stick of cotton candy?"

"Why is turtle wax so expensive? because turtles have such small ears"

"Why did Al Gore go to the dentist for a tooth pulling? He had an Inconvenient Tooth."

"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."

"Did you hear about the homosexual letter? Only came in male boxes."

"What is a Mexicans favourite sport? Cross-Country"

"My wife and I always fight about my socks on the floor, so I threw them at her. Was arrested after she told the officers I socked her."

"My boss fired me. ""Why?"" I protested. ""I haven't done anything!"" Turns out that was his reason."

"On my TV I can see plenty of zombies, cartoon characters, and religious hucksters. I guess the elections are coming up soon!"

"Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who tried to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."