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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who tried to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."
Next Joke
"Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are for those who don't drink!"
"Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? A Hippo weighs 700lbs but a Zippos a little lighter"
"confession time ""hogwarts"" is a super gross thing to name a school and as a child I kinda hoped it would get destroyed because of that"
"Dating is easy. You just *goes into fetal position*"
"I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator. It just seems unbereaveable to me."
"What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."
"What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample."
"""How do you talk to an angel"" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess? ""How do you hold her close to where you are"" Me: Aren't most angels men?"
"Know the best part about dead baby jokes? They never get old..."