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Joke of the Day

"9/10 people believe that... Out of every 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9. -Colin Mochrie"

"I like to use big words that I don't understand- they make me seem more photosynthesis."

"(pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one ""What was your favorite part?"" I'd have to say the Peace"

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"What did the bird say in gratitude? ""Thank"", then it cooed."

"A joke I just made... ""I just invented a new word... plagiarism"""

"Trying out that new pickup line on a girl for the first time; whether it works or not, you'll wind up feeling a twat. *EYYYYYY*"

"I just can't take this long distance relationship anymore... I'm moving the fridge to my room."

"Finally found a way to use egregious in a sentence that has nothing to do with it's meaning"

"How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None... they just shoot the room for being black."