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Joke of the Day

"Your mama is so ugly that when she met Bill Cosby he made her espresso."

"I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror."

"How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed? Two and a half minutes."

"A man tells his wife ""Here's your aspirin, my dear."" Wife: Why are you giving me an aspirin? I don't have a headache. Man: Gotcha! Let's fuck!"

"Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him.."

"I'm going to be a virgin for life Set a good example for my kids."

"I told my boss that I wanted a raise. The boss, like a jackass, replied, ""How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?"" ""About five gallons of gasoline,"" I replied."

"My friends are starting to figure out that I got Botox in my forehead because I can't raise my eyebrows. Why am I not surprised?"

"*juror stands up to read verdict* ""we find the defendant v handsome and think that he looks great in the grey muscle vest he wore on Monday"""

"There are two kinds of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information"