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Joke of the Day

"If a threesome is with three people, and a twosome is with two people.... does that mean im handsome?"

"What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity? Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes."

"My girlfriend thinks dressing up as a clown during sex would be weird ... I think it would be fucking ridiculous."

"Giving blood today. Not my own, of course. That would be creepy."

"Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus"

"Did you hear the one about the deaf man? Neither did he."

"My dad went to Vietnam He single-handedly shot and killed 32 north vietnamese. Next year we're going on vacation somewhere else. Edit: spelling"

"Hamster PickUp Line? If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say ""Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"""

"My books fell on my head last night.... I only have my shelf to blame. :("

"gf: i'm breaking up with you. me: is it my drinking habits? gf: well it... me: *interrupts with empty cup straw-sipping noise for 2 minutes*"