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Joke of the Day

"I wanted a painting that wouldn't get boring so I painted a mirror."

"My wife must think I'm a god... She keeps giving me burnt offerings !"

"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're a dumb ass and you make poor decisions."

"What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot? Aye CaRoomba"

"Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. Two women trying to kill each other over shoes. Brilliant, really."

"I can tell you how to view NSFW content while at your desk. Get to work, Michael! You're not getting paid to watch models who have ""MAGA"" tattooed on their breasts."

"Sometimes I wish life had subtitles."

"I don't understand why women programmers are mad when male programmers objectify their body.... After all, it is object oriented programming."

"*calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*"

"""Dad, what's the difference between love and lust?"" - Well, ya know your teddy bear? ""I love it"" - While you're at school, the dog lusts it."