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Joke of the Day

"You're not completely useless... You can be used as a bad example. *Heard Collin Farrell say this to Jimmy Fallon and laughed haha*"

"I wrote a song about cutting down trees. It's not a snappy tune, it just lumbers along."

"The Wicked Witch swings a light saber at Obi-Wan just as he throws a water balloon at her. All anyone finds later are piles of clothes."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? AN END TO AUTO-CORRECT ERRORS! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? COW!!!!"

"First dirty joke my dad told me, it's about 30 years old and I still tell it. What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub? The lady in church has hope in her soul."

"If you had $1 for every time you've masturbated What color would your Bugatti be?"

"Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions? Because they're kiwis."

"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."

"Dove is supposedly 1/4 moisturizing cream, but this one seems like it's at least 80% bones and feathers."

"If my Sky Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal."