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Joke of the Day

"Angel. Jeff is talking to Ben : My wife is an angel. Ben tells him : Lucky you, mine is still alive..."

"phone call Wife: Want a free couch? Me: Free? Yes! Wife: How do we pick it up? Me: Lift with your legs, not your back. Wife: *click*"

"My ex girlfriend had huge tits Ahh such good mammaries"

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."

"2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died."

"When decorating your tween daughter's room, don't forget to leave ample space for half the glasses in your kitchen."

"HER: why do you hate every single Hugh Grant movie? ME: i love love actually actually"

"But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more to be the man who walked 1000 miles to get away from you. I want a divorce."

"why you shouldnt drink around gays because you may wake up with an empty wallet and a sore ass"

"I like the idea of almond milk, but then I can't get the image out of my head of someone milking a nut."