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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the housing prices in Baltimore? I hear they're a riot!"

"Why would you put a laxative In pot brownies? Shits and giggles."

"What happened when The Pope went to Mount Olive? Popeye kicked his ass!"

"People ask me why I don't cuss... ...I tell them it's none of their fuckin' bitch-ass business to know why."

"ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire"

"'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming... Just cuz I went into the wrong house."

"Why did the alligator wear a vest? He was an investigator!"

"[phone rings in 1984] ""Eric get the phone"" Hello? ""Tell em I'm not home."" She's not home. ""Ask who it is."" My mom wants to know who this is."

"How do you call an intelligent blonde? A Labrador."

"Chosing a share to buy is like chosing a porn video to watch. You search for hours and find something interesting and at the end it will dissapoint you."