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Joke of the Day

"ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire"

"(Calm down, this isn't a racist joke.) How do you find will smith in a snowstorm? (Not a racist joke!) You look for the fresh prints!"

"What do reddit fans and Apple fans have in common? They both like seeing the same thing a year later."

"[on first date] Let me get that for you. *holds door open* ""May I help you, sir?"" Yes, my lady would like your finest soft taco supreme..."

"i blame everything on the illuminati. stale bread? illuminati."

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back Luckily I was the one facing the TV"

"Why couldn't Batman go to the movie? Because it was rated ""PG"""

"Do you know why you will never go hungry in the desert? Because of the sand which is there. *edit: because of the sandwiches there....."

"What's E.T. short for? Cos he's only got little legs"

"What two planets should we keep clean? Earth and Uranus."