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Joke of the Day
"My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas costs everywhere"
Next Joke
"What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants? ""ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"""
"My kids are always accusing me of having a ""favorite child"" which is ridiculous because I don't really like any of them."
"Whats do a baby and old people have in common? They both get ditched in the park"
"What Is The Most Offensive Joke You Have Ever Heard?"
"""You gotta keep 'em separated!"" -the dude from the Offspring whenever he's doing laundry."
"Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*"
"Ways to get me naked: 1. Be hot 2. Be funny 3. Be alcohol 4. Pretend to be my gynecologist"
"What's black on the outside but yellow on the inside? Ninja chicken."
"Yesterday I saw a horse-drawn carriage The proportions were a bit off but the shading and linework were quite remarkable."