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Joke of the Day

"Plenty of great people were single just like you are. For instance: Voldemort. Wait, bad example. You're way less talented than Voldemort."

"The Flintstones becomes an entirely different show when you consider Fred & Barney probably weren't wearing underwear."

"Why can't you cross the Mexican border in groups of three? There's no tres-passing!"

"I hate being friends with the repo-guy He only comes around when he wants something."

"RT if you are my car keys and I can't find you"

"I dunked on my brother one summer, like, 20 yrs ago, on the adjustable hoop in the driveway, & I still think about it roughly twice a week."

"Which blood type do most of the people in Taiwan's capital city have? Taipei"

"But I'm the good kind of abomination, right???"

"My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so."

"Just ran 45 minutes on the treadmill and burned 732 calories. Or as many people like to call it, 4 olives."