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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, I don't feel good."" ""Do you want to go see the doctor?"" ""Yeah."" ""Are you gonna throw up?"" ""Maybe."" ""OK. We'll take your mom's car."""

"So there's this humor contest... and a guy enters ten puns hoping to win with at least one. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."

"Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair? Because they're bad conductors."

"[my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have."

"When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight."

"What do you call a fish that can't sing? An out-of-tuna!"

"I buried my head in my girlfriend's breasts tonight when we had a deep, intellectual conversation I just had to rack my brain to figure it out."

"Race Horse Joke/tongue twister One-one was a race horse. Two-two was one too. One-one won one race. Two-two won one too."

"Don't necessarily nominate me for sainthood, but I just gave a VERY ugly woman directions."

"I came up with a hilarious joke about fermat But the margin was too small to contain it"