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Joke of the Day
"No, I haven't lost weight but ""spanx"" for asking."
Next Joke
"Women jokes are not funny Period."
"*sits perfectly still for a 12-hour portrait painting* ""Delete it."""
"Your mama's so fat We are all genuinely concerned about her health."
"Waiter waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert. So that's where they go to in the winter."
"I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write"
"A baby seal walks into a club"
"The barman says: ""We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon enters a bar."
"[roommate hears me come in] ""how was the date?"" [face sucked back and teeth showing like im skydiving] apparently, I'm allergic to shellfish"
"What do you get when you cross an Indian smoothie with a rescue dog? Mango Lassie"