9342

Joke of the Day

"So I'm about to have a unilateral orchiectomy (true story)... and I say to the urologist surgeon, ""I guess the ball's in your court now"""

"What does a pig put on his cut? Oinkment"

"I looked down on the earth from an airplane yesterday and there are PLENTY of trees left, don't worry!"

"What do you call a gay light fixture? A chandiqueer"

"My girlfriend and I could never agree on holidays... I wanted to fly to exotic places and stay in luxurious five-star hotels. And she wanted to come with me."

"What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship? Carbon dating"

"The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas."

"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."

"""Waiter ! Have you got frogs' legs ? "" ""No sir I always walk this way"""

"bank robber: EVERYONE FREEZE! [everyone freezes] bank robber: [recording everyone] nice! this'll be the best mannequin challenge yet"