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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the vampire eat out his girlfriend? Because it wasn't the right time of the month."

"If I could have any superpower, I would pick China."

"I complimented someone for their amazing mustache. I don't understand why she threw a fit though."

"I like my exes like I like my msn messenger Misremembered fondly but gone forever."

"[God creating wombats] Just roll that balloon in fur and let's call it a day."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anne Boleyn ! Anne Boleyn who ? Anne Boleyn alley !"

"China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile, but because their condoms are 'Made in China'."

"The American stock market is a bear BULL shit"

"I used to have Osama Bin Laden as a contact. I removed him because he was blowing up my phone. Oh god this that was so shitty."

"You're so beautiful I can't describe it with words.. but numbers can. 3/10."