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Joke of the Day

"it's very distracting hearing your girlfriend being mauled by a tiger as you try to read ""big cat owners monthly""."

"What did the deer say to its lover? You are very ""deer"" to me."

"How much time did you spend on your hair before you took a selfie of your boobs?"

"A man overdosed on viagra His wife took it very hard"

"I accidentally bought a bicycle that has no seat it's not a deal breaker but it's kind of a pain in the ass."

"Did you hear about the 50yo who couldn't deliver a baby? She was having a midwife crisis."

"What cause of death did the doctor give for a patient whom died after staring at a woman's behind? assfixation"

"Nuts I like: -Cashew. -Almond. -Pistachio. Nuts I don't like: -Hairy. -Religious."

"On your first day in the hospital kick the ass of the sickest motherfucker in there"

"What happen after JFK's assassination? A funeral."