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Joke of the Day
"I auditioned for a role in Star Wars: The Force Awakens Unfortunately, I was a white male."
Next Joke
"Why did Obama take all the pencils and pens when he left? Cuz he knew Trump would bring his own Pence"
"What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux"
"Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? the wheelchair"
"""I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."" Will Shriner"
"Religion: because reading one book is a lot easier than a whole bunch of hard ones."
"It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days."
"What do you call a snake that works for the government? ~~A civil serpent~~ Senator."
"ELI5: What does ELI5 mean?"
"I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings."