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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to get in her trunk or she'll have to do this the hard way."

"What do you call 5 cats sitting on top of each other? A caterpillar"

"Don't get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now."

"As a Florida resident... at least I'll have medical marijuana to treat the fucking cancer this election has given me. I won't even need a lighter, seeing as the country is already on fire."

"You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,"

"If a dentist make their money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?"

"My favorite endangered species is the black NASCAR fan."

"Oceanography is all about current events"

"I need your best pickup lines I'm going to be in a contest where one section is about giving your best pickup lines. Do you have any good ones?"

"NEW YORK STATE OF MIND Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey."