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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust left handed people They're never right"

"Saw a new movie the other day... It was about a guy who dreamt he was a condom. It was called Contra-ception."

"Did the girl ever go to the whore Olympics? Nah, she couldn't be fucked."

"What did the skim milk say to the farmer I will never be whole again."

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

"Did you hear the one about the Vegan diet? Really? I'm shocked they didn't tell you already."

"Why dose the navy use liquid soap? Because it takes longer to pick up."

"Two retirees meet in a cafe. The first retiree says, ""Hey Stan! I didn't see you at the doctor's yesterday. Are you sick?"""

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks."

"What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus."