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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust left handed people They're never right"

"What is the difference between your dog and your girlfriend? You can get your dog to come."

"I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle"

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"What would reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Lukewarm and bitter."

"Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?"

"I like being handcuffed, but not plant heroin in my car, handcuffed."

"I have an inferiority complex But it's a not very good one...:("

"It's odd to hold a ""World Series"" and not invite other countries. But it's weirder to hold a ""Miss Universe"" and not invite other planets."