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Joke of the Day

"Today I saw a bird shit on somebody for no apparent reason at all. Then I thought of you."

"Why is your mom like a vacuum? She sucks, blows, and gets laid in the closet. Not to mention she also gets turned on by your dad"

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because she suspected that 7 knew she had witnessed a murder he had committed the night before."

"I do this fun trick at parties where no one there likes me so I don't go."

"I need a joke for a medical residency interview! Halp!"

"My mother took me to the symphony when I was a child.. But we had to leave because of all the sax and violins."

"How do you tittie fuck a flat chested chick? Froggy style. Ribbit ribbit"

"What is the difference between a cult and a religion? Popularity."

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"