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Joke of the Day

"Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary."

"I took my girlfriend bungee jumping. As her body hit and spread out over the rocks below, I thought, ""That'll teach you to lie about your weight."""

"Dear Sir/Madam, Your transgender operation has been a partial success."

"funny how dumbass pet animals will eat the same thing every day without realizing that Subway offers over 19 different ways to Eat FreshTM"

"What do you call 222,215 Frenchman with their arms up? The active french armed forces."

"Tips for Guys on Valentine's Day: Tell your girl you already got somethingn and make her guess. She'll automatically list things she want."

"How many Redditors does it take to tell a joke? Two. One to think of it, and another to repost it a day later."

"If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway."

"Dress for the job you want others to think you have."

"Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They've never known what home is."