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Joke of the Day

"When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up."

"Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there."

"boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!"

"What is the definition of ""making love?"" It's something a woman does when a man is fucking her."

"What do you call a sick bird from Mars? An ill Eagle alien. Original joke created for my 5 year old."

"Dear santa... Dear santa, this year, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in daddy's computer."

"Why do Donald Trump's hands seem to act erratically and sometimes seem to stop where they are at the worst times? He suffers from low-handwidth..."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? Come buy some candy kids!"

"I have a joke about California's drought. But it's pretty dry."

"what idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?"