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Joke of the Day

"When I got my new job, my boss said I could name my salary But he said ""paltry"" and "" inadequate"" were already taken."

"Space Cat: *furious as he knocks items off of a shelf and they just float in place, mocking him*"

"High schools shouldn't have school zones. If you can't cross the street by the time you're in HS you deserve to get hit."

"If you're cold... Go stand in a corner. They're 90 degrees."

"It's hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally."

"Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln? Because he was always in a cent."

"What do you call a crew of handsome Italian astronauts? Fine specimens."

"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."

"Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?"

"What is it called when your s.o. comes up with reasons to not make love? Sexcuses"