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Joke of the Day

"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those ""Eat right and exercise"" scams."

"I love self depricating humor Its another thing that wont love me back"

"I remember 2014 like it was yesterday."

"Life is like a box of condoms... I haven't done anything with mine yet."

"Why did the jalapeno put on a sweater? Because he was a little chile"

"What do you call an std that only reptiles can get? Gatoraids."

"What do a 9 volt battery and a hot chick's asshole have in common? You know you shouldn't but you are going to put your tongue on it eventually."

".@petco None of the pets I purchase from you shrug and say ""It's a living"" when I use them in place of household appliances."

"Just think, there is coming an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: ""Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"""

"Clue is a wonderful game that teaches children about murder."