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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where he parked his coupe."
Next Joke
"When I saw ""likes music"" on her dating profile, I almost fell out of my chair. Because I also like music. Holy shit she likes good food too!"
"There's no one worse than the first person to give a standing ovation in a crowd forcing everyone else to get up and clap."
"Hey Reddit what's the most useful type of doctor? An On-call-ogist."
"-Do you know what the girls say when the see a large penis? -No? -Well, I do."
"Don't you hate it, when you offer someone help and the other person says yes"
"I'm like an onion When I cut myself i cry"
"What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch? Kay-so-deal-a?"
"The new Batman is super realistic -- he's attracted to porch lights, makes your girlfriend scream and then the cat eats him"
"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."