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Joke of the Day

"They found a new cure for pedophiles: they turn them into dyslexics... #... so they go around looking for [Pop Tarts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism)."

"The Reddit team fired Victoria without telling anyone why. I guess you could say it is Victoria's Secret"

"What do you call a sad watermelon? melancholy"

"Dramatic performance I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words."

"Life coach: ""Always try to get off on the right foot."" Me: ""Wow, that's a VERY specific fetish!"""

"""Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming"" ""We're not bring ur new chainsaw-"" ""HER NAME'S DEBBY"""

"Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."

"My wife got braces today, so last night I reminded her... I reminded her that last night would be her last pain-free BJ night for two years. Looks like I will be waiting another two years..."

"I totally understand how batteries feel. Because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"I invited a few friends to an orgy I was hosting... Everyone came."