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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober."

"The Vocabulary Theater is now open! I heard they have a clever word play!"

"My fire alarm keeps going off. I think it's because my girlfriend keeps coming in. She is smoking hot."

"Why were all the oompa loompas black in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory? Because Orange is the New Black."

"I'm thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there's this thing called Google now."

"Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn't fix your face."

"All the kids at Sandyhook wanted books... But all they got was magazines."

"Marriage has taught me that communication is key. I talk to my therapist & she talks to hers. Its not perfect, but its progress."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender says ""We don't serve your kind here."" Argon doesn't react."