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Joke of the Day

"Houston, we have a problem Houston: new phone who dis"

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"How do you get info from a french dude? You est-ce que question"
"Did you hear about the newlyweds who mixed up the lube and window putty? All their windows fell out"
"Pirate, land lubber Yarrrr, Why be it that land-lubbers are never confident? For they are always on shore..."
"Is ""drunk"" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...."
"So, I found my first gray pubic hair the other day. I was way more excited about it than the other people on the elevator."
"According to MyFitnessPal, I have been dead for 6 weeks."
"Did you hear about the nation's best farmer? He's out standing in his field."
"What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up? Slow clap."
"Why did Helen Keller scream? Her parents left the plunger in the toilet."