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Joke of the Day

"They say innocence is always found in the children. This has only made it more difficult for me to understand why so many pedophiles are found guilty."

"Whenever my mum tells me to budget wisely, I remind her that she spent 80 on a dog coat. And we don't even have a dog."

"Cheek of my doctor. I went in for a check up and he said I'll never have kids. I said ""why? am I infertile doctor?"" He said ""no your a fat cunt."""

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

"*Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down."

"What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift? I'll never part with this!"

"Want to know how to not get malware? To late, you already clicked the link."

"I predict that in the year 2050 the only people who will have tramp stamps will be grandmas. Thus they will be referred to as granny stamps."

"BlackBerry: being significantly less obvious than a magazine to carry into the office shitter since 2002."

"How do ghosts get ghouls interested in them? They woooooooOOOOOOOooooo them."