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Joke of the Day

"rroses are red, violets are blue, Valentine's Day was invented by big corporations so they could sell more anti-depressants"

"A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it."

"What do you call a director of an anti-vampire organization? A stakeholder."

"I always go the extra mile, which is why I was fired from Uber."

"- If any person believes that these 2 shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or... - THE PRIEST ALREADY SAID THAT! - Ugh, I do."

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."

"Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas? Because his bread was stollen!!!"

"What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker? A Pull-it-surprise!"

"Yes Yes Yes !!! Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ""Yes"" is the answer."

"How many people of a certain ethnicity does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the lightbulb; the other nine to act in a manner stereo-typically associated with said ethnicity."