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Joke of the Day

"How many people of a certain ethnicity does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the lightbulb; the other nine to act in a manner stereo-typically associated with said ethnicity."

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."

"After watching ""Breaking Bad"" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum. _____ *Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*"

"Kid: Hey, Mum! What's an orgasm? Mom: I don't know dear, ask your father."

"What's green and then red? A frog in a blender."

"What do mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars."

"A dad walks into his son's room... A dad walks into his son's room and says: ""Son, how many times have I told you... If you keep masturbating, you'll go blind."" The son responds: ""Dad! I'm over here."""

"Trump is like a racehorse.... If it aint running, it's just an ass."

"Everyone take nude selfies now ""Keep your phone in your pocket next to your genitals and they're bound to get together and have a couple of drinks"" -Stephen Colbert"