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Joke of the Day

"I keep telling people my girlfriend is not retarded... But everyone keeps insisting I am fucking retarded! Just thought of it while taking a poopy! I will see myself out now."

"Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest? Experts say it's because he was a master baiter."

"So this Limbo Champion walks into a bar... and was immediately disqualified."

"Therapist: Do you project your problems onto others? Me: Don't flip out, but I feel like you're asking me that to make yourself look smart."

"What do you call Batman skipping church? Christian bail."

"How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!"

"Two muffins cooking in a oven One says ""fuck it's hot in here"" the other says ""Holy shit, a talking muffin"""

"What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink? ""Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"""

"Classic nursery rhyme Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?"

"Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]"