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Joke of the Day

"6-year-old: *finds a picture she drew* Why was this in the trash? Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous."

"I took a vacation to a city in France. It was Nice."

"Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends."

"heard on The View this morning (courtesy of Fozzie Bear) What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?......Half-way."

"Twitter account is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account."

"How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients"

"What's the most common career choice among spiders? Web development"

"Knock, knock Who's there? Wu Wu who? I wouldn't get too excited sir, I'm here to impound your car."

"I was looking at a menu in a restaurant last night, and there was something called the Jeremy Clarkson special. I was wondering what it was, and then it hit me"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer Ash"