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Joke of the Day
"What do you get for the man who has everything? Nothing. Fuck that guy."
Next Joke
"Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even."
"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."
"A boy and his pal A pedophile and a little boy are walking through the woods at night. The boy says, ""Mister, I'm scared."" The pedophile says, ""You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk home alone."""
"BREAKING - Albert Pujols to Angels for $254M dollars prompting Kim Kardashian to announce she now likes Latinos"
"What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team? Alley-oop Akbar"
"What do you call piss from the continent? Ureapean / Urinepean."
"It's just not sanitary to let people get under your skin."
"The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. "
"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. ""To fight the Decepticons,"" I said. She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."