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Joke of the Day

"(x-post /r/meanjokes) What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? 1 dead baby in 10 dumpsters"

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's a facepalm, but I am thinking of you."

"A man walks into a restaurant and calls over the waiter and asks him ""Do you serve pigs?"" The waiter - ""We don't discriminate between our customers."""

"I always hate going into my cousin's house. He vapes e-cigarettes constantly... ...so whenever I leave there, I end up smelling like an ashlesstray."

"Villains: Just leave the city where the super hero is. Problem solved."

"What gym equipment does Jesus use? A cross trainer."

"I spent some time at the wife's grave this morning. She's not dead or anything, she thinks I'm digging a pond."

"What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common? Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure."

"What do you call pasta with ketchup? Spaghetto Ba-dum tss."

"Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world"