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Joke of the Day
"I can't cook with spices right now... ...I just don't have the thyme."
Next Joke
"I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s)."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you."
"A friend of mine died from a sore throat... ... Th**e**y hung him!"
"Shower like nobody is watching."
"Why do people wash their clothes in Tide? Because it's too cold out-tide."
"I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."
"Pro Tip: Make sure you're physically fit when arguing with a mime. They speak the language of the body."
"Have you seen the one about the idiots with bad jokes? Yep, Reddit."
"The difference between Flute and Piccolo Flute's arms don't grow back."