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Joke of the Day

"Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A: Between the two of us we can make a lot of money."

"My daughter got a sticker from her teacher that said 'resilient tortoise.' I've sent her in with one to give in return, 'patronizing hippo.'"

"My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex for my birthday I don't think they understood when I said "" I wanna watch"""

"What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn't make me fat? Fingernails. XD"

"What did the unskilled chef serve as a side dish? Mediokra"

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"A Chinese man goes to the eye doctor complaining of poor eyesight in his left eye. The doctor says ""I see you have a cataract"". The Chinese man says, ""No I don't...I have a rincoln continental."""

"What do you call a bee from US? USB"

"I thought my date had big man hands... until I realized I was sitting in the wrong seat in the theater after coming back from the restroom"

"How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three: two to die and one to never get over it."