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Joke of the Day

"""Honey, you're not really nice to your son"" ""Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"""

"A T-Rex and a Dude walk into a bar.... Dude says ""Hey T-Rex, ya got the first round?"" T-Rex says ""Sorry dude, I'm short handed"""

"How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!"

"Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years."

"What does a mathematician do when he is constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"So my car broke down My mechanic said it was obvious I'd blown a seal. I said keep my private life out of it and just fix the damn car!"

"Nurse: It's just a little prick.. Me: That's what my gf said! N: Ha M: Haha N: HAHA M: HAHAHA! N: You don't have a gf, do you? M: No."

"Where do literal dogs live? On the roof."

"Instead of smoking cigarettes, switch to hanging just outside an establishment, casually repeating that you want to die."

"What do you call fat people eating McDonalds? Cannibalism"