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Joke of the Day

"If the BeeGees are 'staying alive' so much then how come they're all dead."

"What does the German President wear? Leader-hosen."

"The inventor of the remote control died yesterday. As per his wishes, he'll be buried in between 2 couch cushions."

"I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me. Hmm...."

"Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colors? He had a reptile-dysfunction."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something"

"On soy milk cartons, the missing kids are always named ""Skylar"" and were last seen getting into a Prius"

"How did the fish's tail get stuck in the anchor chain? It was just a fluke!"

"*gets several new followers on Sunday *adds Jesus to resume"

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station once, and they never figured out it was me. They had nothing to go on."