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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was too tired."

"Why aren't there Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because there are Targets on every corner."

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend."

"I have used contact lenses my whole life... I can apply them with my eyes closed."

"The police are looking for a stole toilet from the police station. At the moment they have nothing to go on."

"Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won't go into a corn maze without a machete."

"Why do Jewish people watch porn backwards? They like the part where the prostitute pays them"

"I tried to add 1 + 1 But it was two complicated for me."

"A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill."

"Told my girlfriend to watch out! It might smell in the bathroom... She asked if I had used the air freshener. ""yeah, I did"" ""Oh so it smells like shitrus."" man she's funny."