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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between anal sex and oral sex? Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"What do you call a group of physicians with erectile dysfunction? Doctors Without Boners"

"Everyone calls me Al Capone Because"

"I wanted to eat lunch at KFC and my girlfriend wanted to eat lunch at Chick-Fil-A... we compromised and went to Chick-Fil-A."

"""I literally can't even!"" -- White girl hanging a picture"

"Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :("

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fcuking livid"

"How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card???"

"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"

"""Put your hands in the air like you just don't care"" is offensive to those of us in the apathy community. But whatever."