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Joke of the Day
"What does a ninja use to measure someone's pulse A **stealthoscope**"
Next Joke
"Police called me at work! The officer said a burglar broke into my house and drank all my beer, then raped my wife. I said, ""WHAT?????!!!!! He fucked my wife after only 5 beers???!!!"""
"If you've watched the scene in Platoon where he gets shot in the back 44 times. You've pretty much seen my reaction to a wedding invite."
"*Flips over cards* It was your TC in the KIK room with the retweeter."
"I just got fired, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently, nursing homes have ""strict rules"" around what you can do with the patients."
"Hitler meets Anne Frank one day in the camp. Hitler: you know, I like you... how about you join me for dinner next Friday? Anne Frank: let me check my diary"
"What do you call a thieving duck? A robber duck...."
"What is the hardest part of telling a good gay joke? Keeping a straight face"
"It took 11 years but hubby can finally read me like a book. A Greek book. Read upside down wearing a blindfold. It's a vast improvement."
"Why don't blacks celebrate thanksgiving? It's hard to be thankful when KFC is closed"