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Joke of the Day
"If you don't get the joke look it up. Your mother was a hamster and your smelt of elderberries!"
Next Joke
"Trying to argue with someone over text is like being Italian and trying to talk with handcuffs on"
"A duck walks into a drug store, He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter. The cashier asks, ""will this be cash or check?"" The duck says, ""neither; just put it on my bill."""
"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football? Fiver side!"
"Shoveling snow would be so much more fun if it were porn."
"Opening a Twitter account is like opening a bag of money after you rob a bank. You're happy until shit explodes in your face."
"Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said ""Make money at home."""
"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"
"If I was ever on Jeopardy I would call Trebek the wrong name like I'd never heard of him. ""I'll take Beauty Pageants for 400, Jason."""
"[god creating an pigeon] what if i gave this piece of shit wings"